My social media awakening and how I conquered the dreaded hold of Instagram.

Ok guys, I’m going to try to make this short but knowing me that actually won’t happen and I will most likely ramble on so I apologize in advance.

Let me first start by saying HOLY FUCKING CAT SHIT is social media ever a headache! If only I had a dollar for every second I’ve wasted trying to piece together the shit show that has been the last few months of my life online. Now don’t get me wrong this story has a happy ending so over all I’m happy and content. Let’s rewind back to November.

It was just a normal day for me, posted my usual daily post with more than likely a smart ass caption that took me way too long to figure out. I kissed my cats a few million times, talked to my bird, annoyed my fiance. Totally normal stuff, until later in the day when I went to check my Instagram. Nothing. Logged out. Glitch in the Matrix? Possibly….but no it in fact was fucking not.

It actually took over half hour until I got the dreaded “your account has been disabled for violating terms” message. I panicked. Now I know it’s only social media and not real life but when you spend 6 solid years building an honest following…no bought followers etc, and when you make a living off your social media; it’s kind of hard to not worry about it.

So I appealed it, over 30 times since then if we are being honest. No response. Now, knowing in my heart I did nothing wrong as I’ve never posted anything that would violate terms, I figured I’d get it back so I vowed not to make a new account. Well 2 weeks later I caved. Made a new “backup account”, and here is where it gets nuts. A few weeks into this new account I reported a fake account using my photos. Then I got the notification “this account has been taken down for pretending to be someone else”…. I thought OH FUCKKK YA, one point for me. Wrong.

I then clicked on the notification and boom…logged out. Instagram deleted my account (again) INSTEAD of the fake one using my photos. Zero points for me. So flash forward now a few more weeks. My jewelry page (shameless plug, if you haven’t yet be sure to follow it on IG) was thriving. I was getting good exposure, lots of hits on my new site. Business as usual, I go to check my account….logged out. Fuck me right. This time it was hacked. Completely deleted and gone forever.

Now let’s rewind again and go back to when my first original account got deleted (I hope you’re still following) At this time I was really feeling down, depressed, uninspired and most of all I was already feeling like social media was sucking the life out of me. The constant pressure to make good quality posts and stay relevant was always weighing on me hard. I was working a job I wasn’t 100% sure of, I didn’t know what direction I wanted to go with that and if I wanted to seperate it from my Instagram. I was confused.

Through the months of November and December I stayed feeling this way, all of the social media bullshit was too much so I deleted my Facebook and tried to stay off of it all as much as I could. Some issues in my personal life were bothering me and I was at a very low point until after new years. I kept thinking why is all this bad shit happening to me? That’s when it hit me.

None of this was happening to me, it was happening FOR me. I wasn’t happy but I wasn’t changing because I was fighting the natural flow. The universe was sending me sign after sign and I was ignoring it because I was so far down, deep in my pool of self pity and deflection. All of these things were happening FOR me to clear space in my life for new, better things to come. I was literally being forced off social media. That time I had to myself was so nurturing and healing.

I was finally able to think clearly, to feel more, to be present, to look up into the fucking sky instead of into a tiny piece of soul sucking technology. It was short but it was so sweet. I got back into writing, editing, shooting, all the things I had been putting off because I was so absorbed into what I thought I had to post next, just for some superficial admiration from strangers.

I had the time to think about what my intention is for social media, what purpose I want to use it for and what direction, and message I want to give to people following. Posting because I felt I had to wasn’t making me happy. I used it like a drug, it was an addiction. I want to use it as a tool to connect with a community and of course a job I enjoy. We are given this platform, the internet; our gateway to everyone, everything, and anything and we let it control us.

Well FRIG THAT, not anymore. Being back on social media but with limited time has been so refreshing. Posting and putting my phone down without the urge to pick it up every 2 seconds is fucking RAD.

So guys, I want you to do this with me. TRY to consciously use your time online wisely. When you find yourself scrolling remind yourself to stop. Literally say in your head over and over “fuck off phone”. There’s a thing on most devices these days that can track your time on each app. Check it, you’ll be amazed and probably partly disgusted. I was anyways. Let’s get that number way way down!

Here’s a lil trick I do. Think of 3 positive words to describe yourself… Mine are ambitious, loyal and caring. Everytime you pick up your phone to check your socials think of those 3 words. Think of how much time you can spend off your phone really BEING those 3 words for yourself, your friends and fam. Repeat those words and use them as fuel to get shit done! Social media isnt everything but without spending so much time on it YOU can be everything you wish to be!

And with that im getting off line and going to work out and be present with the day!!

Xo Jenna

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